Here’s What You May Have Missed

I divorced my husband.

 

 

 

Just kidding, but I totally got you to click on this post, DIDN’T I?

Actually, something tells me that I whole effing lot of you still migrate over to my new blog VIA this blog … I mean, I can’t quite say what is telling me that ::cough::google analytics::cough::

So … In celebration of the coming holiday I’ve prepared a little something for you.

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On the First day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … a post about how babies make her wanna hide in the corner and wee wee!

On the Second day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … a vlog about putting on makeup just like the snarky! (see my new haircut!)

On the Third day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … a Gingerbread Pumpkin pie and a really (I cried in Starbucks!) hilarious story!

On the Fourth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … four posts about how to ride Amtrak and not ride miserably!

• Your Excuse to Ride the Caboose (why you need to ride the train)
• Train Brain (the details!)
• Snacks on the Tracks (what the fuck to eat.)
• All Aboard or Always Bored? (what to do with yourself.)

On the Fifth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … FIVE (sing it!) posts with recipes!

• Grillkill Pizza (cooking pizza dough on the fuckin BBQ!)
• Dairy free pina coladas (I totally dragged out wedding attire for this one!)
• Portabella Panini's (omg yum.)
• Pancetta Pasta Toss (men will melt at your feet to eat this.)
• Potato/Pancetta Frittata (aka, Afterfuck Frittata, feed the sex.)

On the Sixth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … plans for sixth months of training for a full marathon … oh kill me …

On the Seventh day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … seven he-be-gee-bees as she killed a spider in her backyard and scared me!

On the Eighth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … a super real talk about weight gain and the resulting tragedy.

On the Ninth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … cupcakes fresh from the oven that she cooked while nakie!

On the Tenth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … details about her new house, new dog and why she caught a bad case of housewifery!

On the Eleventh day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … a reason to have “little autumn induced orgasms” everyday for nearly free!

On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … the reality that child abuse isn't going to be solved with cute cartoon avatars/profile pictures. Read the post and grow up … eeeeeeee!

 

I seriously hope you sang all of that to the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas … and I seriously hope that it’s stuck in your head for the rest of the day, because I know it’s rattling around in mine …

And OH MY FUCKING GAWD SALLY … STOP FOLLOWING THIS BLOG, I’M NOT HERE ANYMORE AND LOOK AT ALL THE GREAT CRAP YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON!